forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
