So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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