It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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