fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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