Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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