He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
