when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
