Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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