Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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