Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
