when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
