Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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