i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize