He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize