Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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