that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
