my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
