her vagine was all disorganized.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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