he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
