Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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