Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
