im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
