I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
