Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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