i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize