he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
