I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
