One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
