Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
