i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
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it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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