Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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