i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
