i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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