I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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