I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
