i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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