I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
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