Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
