He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
