i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
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she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
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you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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