And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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