I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
