I can't breathe out the right side of my face
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
