oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
