dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
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I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
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BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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