On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
