those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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