if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
