Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
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I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
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I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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