I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
