Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
