Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
