so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
