if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
