i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
