We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
