I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
There's even glitter on my cock...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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