I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize