One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
They are going to name an STD after you.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
