so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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